So I went back and starting reading some of my old entries. I like to think of where I was and how I got to where I am now. That got me to thinking about how my attitude and general outlook has changed on things.
October 2007 – The breaking point.
Prior to October of 2007, I was keeping my head above water, living paycheck to paycheck. I had some credit card debt, 2 car loans, and a mortgage. I was spending more then I made but was making payments on everything. We were going out to dinner a lot and blowing money on who knows what.
In August, my second son was born. A few days after we took him home, he started to have seizures. We took him to the emergency room and he spent the next 10 days in the NICU. They ran every test (blood, chromosome, ekg, etc.) and had specialist from Boston drive out. I turned out be a gland issue that corrected itself in the following few weeks.
I had insurance so I was thinking maybe a small bill but nothing too bad. Well August comes, the charges start coming in – over $30,000. I fight with the insurance company, I fight with the wife. The wife says we need the Cadillac of insurance. Cost - $1,250 a month. The hospital says I need to start paying them at least $1,500 a month. Christmas is around the corner.
Feelings of despair start to creep in. I'm in a hole and I don't know if I can get out. Every time I hit bottom, there seems further to go.
December 2007 – Starting to gain control
Late November, I created my first budget for December with the wife. It was a chore. There was bickering back and forth. We both made sacrifices and agreed to lifestyle changes.
The furnace broke in December, but I had money in the budget for it.
Over the next few months, unexpected expenses popped up but the budget was starting to get easier. I also paid off a big chunk of the medical and had a payment plan of $500 a month for the rest of the balance.
I was feeling control. Something that hadn't happened in a long time. I knew what was coming in and where it was going. Also, the bickering with my wife became less. I was still standing in a big hole, but I was now confident I was at the bottom or very close.
March 2008 – All pistons firing
When March rolled a round, the budget was easy. I had kept tightening it up. I actually trusted the budget and my funding plan. My two big expenses were health insurance and mortgage. They combined to $4,000 a month. If I could put $1,000 a week away, I would have all the money I would need for these. The funding plan was really the key. What part of which paycheck funded which expense.
I was also able to start looking at my goals and start projecting what I could get accomplished in 2008. I revamped my goals going from getting rid of one or two debts to getting rid of all my debt (but the mortgage).
I hadn't really noticed, but the hole was starting to fill up. Not a lot, but very slowly. I started to feel hope. In six months, I went from despair to hope.
June 2008 – Sucker punch.
By June, things were going so well I started planning a big birthday party for the wife. We had been sacrificing for 8 months and it was time let loose just a little and then buckle down and finish off the debt.
Well , no journey is smooth sailing. In June out of the blue, I received a medical bill from August of 2007 for $4,400. It was like someone sucker punched me. All my momentum form the previous months was gone. This threw off all my goals!!!
Sometimes you just have to look at yourself in the mirror and push through. That's what I did. It wasn't fun. I had goals that needed to be re-projected.
December 2008 – Big sigh of relief
In December, I paid off the last of my debt (except the mortgage), fully funded my 401 (k), got a will, and got term life insurance. Not only did I breathe a huge sigh of relief but I felt all this stress just disappear.
There is still a long way for me to go in my journey, but the turnaround in my attitude and outlook is remarkable. For those of you out there, I have been there when there is no hope and no control in your financial life. I have been just holding on. You can get through this. You will be tested and Murphy will show up. It's not easy and requires honesty, communication, and extreme sacrifices to your lifestyle.
The only thing I can tell you is that it's worth it.
My Tale Over the Last Year
January 16th, 2009 at 07:17 pm
January 16th, 2009 at 07:24 pm 1232133855
January 16th, 2009 at 07:34 pm 1232134461
I can completely relate to the sense of loss of control, and how remarkable it is to regain that sense.... It was exactly what I lost in my divorce and regained in its aftermath. Amazing how such a simple word can mean so much to a man....
January 16th, 2009 at 08:01 pm 1232136112
January 16th, 2009 at 08:03 pm 1232136191
In these blogs and over in the forums, there are people who have done remarkable jobs of pulling themselves out of big holes, even though sometimes it has taken years to do it. I really respect that. I never had to pull myself out of debt. Fearing the poverty of my teen years, I always acted as though those days could come again at any time, and so saved like crazy. People who've had to completely change their lives to pay off debts are more amazing than us ol' troopers who just have always slogged along, planned for the worst, lived below our means. It is like the one climbed a vertical cliff in an afternoon while the other just walked up the backside of the cliff on a nice shallow 2% rise, taking all their lives to do it. Give me the slow slope, but, wow, aren't those cliff climbers amazing!
January 16th, 2009 at 08:31 pm 1232137905
January 16th, 2009 at 08:49 pm 1232138951
January 16th, 2009 at 08:49 pm 1232138993
January 16th, 2009 at 09:20 pm 1232140826
January 16th, 2009 at 09:44 pm 1232142241
January 17th, 2009 at 12:57 am 1232153821
I am so happy your baby is well after the scary experience you had in his first weeks of life.
January 17th, 2009 at 01:52 am 1232157131
January 17th, 2009 at 04:09 am 1232165345
So glad your son is okay.
January 17th, 2009 at 04:22 am 1232166154
January 17th, 2009 at 05:41 am 1232170882
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January 17th, 2009 at 05:27 pm 1232213230
January 17th, 2009 at 06:10 pm 1232215843
January 27th, 2009 at 10:28 pm 1233095331
I'm so glad your baby is doing well. You should be very proud of yourself and your family.
August 14th, 2009 at 07:45 pm 1250279134
Jerry
June 16th, 2018 at 05:42 pm 1529170924